


Gnomes are Evil

by SnowBlizzard



Series: South Park One-Shots [8]
Category: South Park
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, How Do I Tag, M/M, One Shot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, gnomes are evil, i can't tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26413936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowBlizzard/pseuds/SnowBlizzard
Summary: Tweek's been avoiding Craig the past week, running away from him at every chance.Craig's not good at emotions, but he's willing to try for Tweek.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Series: South Park One-Shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565416
Comments: 6
Kudos: 107





	Gnomes are Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was actually a suggestion and I enjoyed doing it massively, if you have any more suggestions, don't be afraid to send them my way! :D
> 
> Also, I have a fanfic discord server: [Click here to join! :D](https://discord.gg/YwMzZ27)
> 
> All the love to my beta-reader [Littledemon66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledemon66/pseuds/littledemon66).

Craig casts a look to his left, to the spazzy blonde that’s been more spazzy than usual these last few days.    
  
They were somewhat of an item, mostly because they were the ones most able to put up with each others’ weird habits. Also, Craig was the only one who really knew how to calm Tweek down... until this week.

He sighed, eyeing the blonde even more. His boyfriend was an almost constant source of noise; weird sounds and guttural panicky noises were his forte. But not this much, not when he wasn’t in a state of panic. He was trying to scribble in the answers to the work they’d been given, Craig could clearly see how frustrated he was, even from a few seats away.

Tweek was as a general rule, good at biology. But somehow, Craig and basically everyone that was even half-trying, were done before him.    
  
Something was clearly off, a shift in the blonde’s mind. 

Craig wasn’t used to dealing with his own emotions, much less others’. He was willing to try for Tweek though, mostly because the other was so emotional it was hard not to get pulled in sometimes.

“Tweek-” Tweek immediately screeched, his locked slamming shut as he turned around and held a folder over his face for protection. “We need to talk.”

“Oh Jesus man! You scared me- wait.” Tweek lowered the folder, “oh god! Every time someone says ‘we need to talk’ it’s never something good, nghh, what? No! Don’t tell me or, gah! Do! Or- I don’t know!” Tweek was pulling on his hair as he finished his frantic rant.

Craig just stood there, seeing a few students who were still unused to Tweek’s behavior react. Okay, bad word choice, next time something more gentle. Got it. “Tweek,” he said again, grabbing the guy’s hands in his own, just to get him to stop pulling his hair. “You’re gonna go bald if you keep pulling your hair like that.” 

Tweek screamed, “Gah! I don’t need to think about that!” And effectively ran away from Craig, leaving the guy in stunned silence. 

Craig would be the first to admit he was bad at both feelings and choosing the right words. 

He didn’t run after Tweek, afraid to freak the guy out further. Also, he had no clue where he’d ran off to.

So he tried to talk with him during lunch instead, quietly so the rest of the table wouldn’t hear. “Tweek,” gentle, okay, Craig would try to be gentle. He grabbed his hands, “how are you feeling?”

Instead of the calm expression he hopes for, Tweek just looks horrified. “Oh god! Why? H-have they said anything to you? Oh Jesus! Ngh, gah!”

Craig tilted his head in confusion, gentle. Okay, gentle. “Has who said anything?” He asked slowly, trying not to overwhelm the currently very much freaking out spazzy blonde next to him.

“The- The gn- AHHH!” and then Tweek stood up and ran for the second time that day. 

Craig groaned in frustration. Gentle words, more restraint so he can’t run. Got it.

Token and Clyde asked him quote-un-quote “what the fuck was that?” But Craig just flipped them off.   
  
~~~~

If this didn’t work, Craig would probably blow a fuse. 

“Oh, hi Craig.” Mrs. Tweak greeted him when he showed up at their doorstep. “Tweek’s up in his room, you know where it is.” 

Craig nodded, giving a heavy sigh as Tweek’s dad decided it was necessary to shout “oh, and keep the door open!” as he walked up the stairs.

The only way for Tweek to run now would be to jump out of the window and even Tweek isn’t that crazy.

Tweek nearly toppled over from his spinny chair when Craig announced his presence. “C-Craig, what are you doing here?”

Craig huffed, “finding out why my boyfriend’s been running from me all week.” 

Tweek gave a visible twitch, pulling at the fabric of his button up. That poor fabric was in such an abusive relationship it was unreal. “Nghh- I can’t tell you!” He shouted.

Craig flipped Tweek’s dad off, even if he wasn’t anywhere in sight and closed the door anyway. “And why’s that?” Ah shit, he was supposed to be gentle.

Tweek was in clear distress, so much so that Craig felt a tinge of sympathy for the guy. It must be tough to have a mind that works 24/7 without a break, and from what Craig knew, Tweek didn’t really sleep much. “The- nghh-” Tweek went off into mumbles with himself. 

Craig, not being completely oblivious, quickly figured out that there was something Tweek wanted to say but wasn’t allowing himself to say for some reason. Time to pull out ‘sweet Craig’ a voice and behavioural pattern only saved for when Tweek was at rock bottom, he might not be there yet, but Craig wanted to put a stop to it before it happened.

Physical contact was a big no-no when Tweek got like this, but his hands and back were okay, nothing else though. ...Maybe Tweek’s hair, Craig hadn’t tried that yet but he wasn’t about to when the male was in such obvious distress. 

So he took Tweek’s hand in his and gave the best puppy eyes he could, trying to smooth out his voice so it’s not as nasal and monotone. “Honey, please tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”

Tweek vehemently shook his head, “they said they’d- ngh- hurt you!” he shouted. 

Craig felt his heartbeat speed up, he thought this was just another one of Tweek’s freakouts but was someone really threatening them? Was someone bullying Tweek into submission? He knew they both could stand their own ground but if it was someone like Cartman, it was likely he had some dirt on Tweek. “Who?” He asked really carefully, squeezing Tweek’s hands to give him reassurance. 

Tweek’s shaking worsened to the point of just vibrating. “The- The gnomes!” He yelled. 

Craig was both relieved and so, very over the whole gnome thing. But as he’d soon learnt in their relationship, what Tweek fears might not exactly be real (Craig was on the fence about the gnomes, he’d seen some weird stuff in South Park) but his fear in itself was very real.

So Craig, dragging Tweek by his hand with him, sat them down on Tweek’s bed. This could go one of two ways, they’d talk it out or Tweek would rant and rant until he lost his voice or Craig distracted him. 

“What did they do this time?” Craig, because he didn’t want to diminish Tweek’s very real fears, resisted the large urge to roll his eyes and sigh. 

Tweek twitched, “gah! Th-they said they'd take your underwear and stab you in the balls if I told you!” 

Craig’s mouth twitched, a smile threatening to break out because that was actually funny, the image of one feet tall gnomes trying to stab him in the balls. He could basically stomp those fuckers. He didn’t smile though, because like said, Tweek’s fear was very real. “Told me what?”

“Nghh- oh Jesus! Uhh, they’ve been stealing my underwear for six years.”

“I know that, Tweek.”

“Oh.”

“That’s what you were worried about?”

Tweek nodded, his mouth opening, closing and then opening again. “They’re just so scary and ngh, they said they’d hurt you and I just didn’t know what to do and then suddenly I couldn’t keep my mouth shut so I ran and then you got all angry and it just made me feel bad and now you hate me. Ngghh, please don’t hate me, Craig! Hate the gnomes, the stupid underpants-gnomes.”

“Tweek,” Craig squeezed his hands again, “I don’t hate you.”

“Oh god! Yes, you totally do! That’s exactly what someone that hates you would say!” 

Craig frowned, unsure of how to convince him he didn’t. “I hate the gnomes, I don’t hate you.”

“Gah! You probably work with them- don’t you? Oh Jesus, oh fuck!”

Craig did the first thing he could think of to shut his ridiculous accusation down, working with gnomes? No way, you wouldn’t catch him dead in a gnome outfit. Looking back on it, it might’ve not been the best thing to kiss someone who panics over the smallest things without warning.

When he pulled back, the look on Tweek’s face was… hilarious actually. But he couldn’t laugh because then Tweek’s overworked mind would think he was making fun of him.

“Gah! Craig why did you-”  _ kiss  _ “What are you-”  _ kiss  _ “C-Craig-”  _ kiss  _ “This- this is getting embarrassing.”  _ kiss  _ “mm… th-that’s actually kinda nice..”

Craig pulled back, glad that he’d gotten the blonde to calm enough not to spew accusations around. Of course, in about five minutes Tweek would freak out that they just had their first kiss but until then, Craig was hell-bent on getting as many small pecks he could out of the quivering boy.

Craig would count this as a success, all he had to do now was squash those little gnomes when they came to remove his balls. But Tweek was calm, at least for a few moments and he was leaning into the kiss, so it’s not like Craig has much to complain about. 


End file.
